Tag Archives: emotions

Sundays…

Sunday: the last day of the weekend, the day you finally feel rested, the day to watch good football and Carte Blanche!

 

Sunday, over the past few weeks has been the day I cry. And for no logical reason. A few Sundays ago, I needed a five minute break before watching Lucifer to go cry in the bathroom, the Sunday after this I cried because Cayleb wasn’t with me for the WHOLE daycry 2 and last Sunday I cried because of the Dial Direct advert, The Voice and the farmers on Carte Blanche. It has become a norm in our home and Mitch has his way of dealing with it (he goes to the lounge and smokes).

 

At first I thought I was pregnant. I am not (Phew!!) Then I thought it was PMS and hormones and it probably was. But it took three weeks, a lot of tears and sleep to realize that it is the anxiety of the week ahead that is building up in me. And the only way it knows how to come out is tears.

 

The start of 2016 has been tough but I didn’t realize how much I am letting it get to me. So I have started preparing for Sundays and ultimately Mondays:

  • I, 100%, familiarize myself with my week ahead on the Friday
  • I make sure the weekend is relaxing as possible
  • I enjoy every moment with Cayleb and Mitch so I can eliminate any guilt immediately
  • I prep for the week in terms of lunches/dinners/homework
  • Shower and get hair done on the Sunday night so Monday mornings are easy

 

sunday

 

These are small things but they make a big difference in setting the tone for the week. I keep learning new tricks to help the process.  Please let me know if you have any to share…

 

So it is Sunday as I write this and it is nearly 18h00 so how has today been?   Pretty good I would say. I haven’t cried yet.

 

However I am not saying it will not happen because if Liverpool win the Capital One Cup tonight then I know I will cry but for the right reasons.

 

sunday 2

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A Bit Offish

It has been about a month now and I just having not been feeling myself.  Nothing too serious but I just don’t feel like me.

 

All of these emtions in one day – wait one hour more like it

It has been mainly healthy related.  It started with being light-headed and nauseas (you can imagine what everyone was saying).  I kept skipping my sessions with my personal trainer and when I eventually went back to him I didn’t even last 30 minutes.  This is not normal considering the degree he has pushed me before so he said I need to go to a doctor and come back when I am better.  This is what I did and with nothing obvious wrong the doctor did some blood tests.  After waiting rather impatiently for my results I found out that my iron levels were very low so I got myself some supplements.  Yay – finally I know what it is and I can get back into the swing of things.  Wrong!

 

Last weekend I woke up with a sore throat and that is normal the first sign of what is to come.  I woke up on the Saturday with a bad cough and cold.  Dammit – not again!!  I self-medicated (which I know I shouldn’t do but I did) and by the end of the weekend it was feeling slightly better.  I thought the long weekend off would help and I can fight this off once and for all.  Wrong!  It was not getting better and I skipped another gym session.  So I decided to go to the doctor this morning and now I am on antibiotics.

 

To make things worse I have been unreasonably emotional.  Crying all the time and at the weirdest times for no real reason.  I looked at the small little things that were happening and perceived it to be terrible and turned them into something much more than it really was – like my whole life is falling apart although I really know it is not and it is actually just where I want it.   Over and above that I feel my routine is a little messed up.  I have decided to go back to my therapist for a session or two and it’s amazing how looking at the basics puts it all in perspective.

So that is what I am doing this week – going back to the basics.  I am not going to gym (I am devastated and annoyed but I need to get better), I am going to get rest and sleep and I am going to try really hard to get some type of routine going.  I know that generally this will put everything back in place and in a week or two I will be back on the go and my normal, healthy and un-emotional self.

There is just one element of my life that is a bit out of sync at the moment and a little seed has been planted and I need to see how I can grow it – once back to normal I will be putting some focus on this.

 

To a good week, the start of better things and even more happiness.

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Emotions – Bleh!

Sometimes I wish I was a guy – at least they can understand their emotions (or so they say).  I am so down today and I have no reason to be.  I had the best weekend ever and I feel I am in a good place and then out of nowhere last night I am crying.  All I know is that I miss Cayleb but I am seeing him tomorrow so why am I still so upset?  Throughout the day I have had to fight back tears more than once and I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone.

I know how frustrating this must be for those closest to me.  I have said I am sorry and I wish I could explain it better but I can’t.  I am hoping it is a bit of pms and that it will pass and by tomorrow I will be my normal self.

I’m not sure if I should go shop after work, or to the gym, or go get something yummy to eat and go home and get under a blanket and sleep it off.

Emotions – Bleh!

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